Flight Rerouted After Madman Passenger Goes On Tirade To Stewardess About The Middle Seat, Calls Her A ‘Fat Ass’

This is me on my worst day.

A U.S.-bound flight from Australia was rerouted to New Zealand after a United Airlines passenger had a bit of a meltdown when two passengers on either side of him began speaking to each other while he sit in the middle seat.

“If you guys treat people right on these things, you see two last names the same, don’t put someone else in the middle of them,” the guy angrily told the stewardess.

After the flight attendant told him that the airplane could be diverted because of his actions, he shot back: “Do you know how cool it would be to have the airplane turned around because of me? You are going to do that?” he said as she walked away. “You do that! I’m being so impolite aren’t I, fat ass.”

The video was uploaded by passenger Neil Kay, who labeled the dude a ‘misogynistic, homophobic bigot’ because the passengers he was complaining about were reportedly of Indian or Pakistani descent, according to Huffington Post. There has been no evidence released that incriminates the man for saying anything of the discriminatory nature.

The other 252 travelers on Flight 870 were put up in hotels by the airline, but not before they bonded over getting bent in the airport bar.

It’s tough for me to pick a side here. Obviously, it’s tough to get on board with this jerkoff misdirecting his anger at the flight attendant, but rerouting the plane because Vince Vaughn’s less talented cousin had a subdued midlife crisis seems excessive. This is exactly why I truly believe flight attendants should each be equipped with a taser. Drunk asshole in seat 3D? Hit him with a few thousand volts. Baby having a temper tantrum? Make that little fucker ride the lightning. Call it extreme, but don’t say it ain’t a solution.

[h/t Huffington Post]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.