Why not. Why not? It’s China. Weirder stuff has happened there, like the lady who chopped off her husband’s dick twice, then the husband got offered a job as a porn star. Oh and chopping your hand off is definitely a good way to cure Internet addiction rather than, I dunno, not paying your bills and just getting the service shut off. Sure eating poop is gross and no respectable lady wants to think that after they take a dump in a public bathroom some guy is about to sprint in after they leave to try and gobble up any remaining pieces of poo, but I’m just saying…I’ve read weirder shit out of China.
But we’re not here about the other weird news stories that come from China. We’re here for the poop gobbler. Lovely.
A news report has emerged from China that claims a man regularly sneaks into women’s loos to eat FAECES.
The report said the Guangdong man was caught emerging from the toilet after indulging in his mind-bogglingly disgusting habit.
Shanghaiist.com – a legitimate news source – suggests he has done it for eight years.(via)
Love that the Mirror had to assure us that Shanghaiist.com is a legitimate news source. I’m reading a news story about a guy who eats turds for lunch, like I really give a shit about the quality of the source it’s coming from.
A translation of the broadcast said: “A man has been spotted on multiple occasions entering a ladies’ restroom at a shopping centre in the Pengjiang district of Jiangmen city, Guangdong province, and eating excrement found in the toilet.
“According to a security guard at the shopping plaza, the man has been spotted visiting the toilets since early this year.
“He goes to the second floor ladies’ room to find faeces to eat. He usually comes between 8am to 10am during the first half of the day, and then comes again at around 3pm,” the guard said.(via)
Makes sense. Drink coffee in the morning and then take a dump between 8 and 10 a.m., then eat a greasy fast food lunch and empty your bowels around 3 p.m. Gotta give credit where credit is due, because this guy’s at least got a strategy. However, a doctor from a nearby city is said to have told reporters that the man possibly has a history of mental illness, which kind of makes me a dick for making fun of him but I’ve already typed all this out so it’s too late. I’ve come too far!
On the real though this guy needs help if he’s got an illness, but if he doesn’t and just enjoys eating crap…well, I dunno. Maybe start paying some lady on the Internet to ship her poop to him for consumption rather than running around in public bothering people with eating their dumps. Or just start eating at Olive Garden since it’s basically the same thing.
Both sound like good options.