Guys, if I ever get to this point you all have my permission to come put me out of my misery, AKA put padlocks on all the cabinets and the fridge in my house. What, you thought I was going to say you could kill me? Hell no, I might be a lost cause but that doesn’t mean I have a death wish…although eating yourself to be 500 pounds might as well be considered a form of suicide, considering you probably won’t last too long being that fat. And yet here we have Howard Hendrix, a Florida man (surprise surprise) who’s managed to not only eat himself almost to death but also avoid arrest…by being too fat.
A 45-year-old Florida man allegedly used his size to resist arrest during an alleged domestic violence incident on Sunday.
Tipping the scales at about 500 pounds, police were called to a house in Deltona by the girlfriend of Howard Hendrix, of Apopka.
The woman said Hendrix had repeatedly slapped her.
According to Click Orlando, Hendrix was arrested on charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, criminal mischief, resisting an officer without violence, battery causing bodily harm and driving under the influence.
However he is said to have refused to leave the house.
Hendrix then used his weight against deputies by dropping to the floor.
Officers were eventually forced to drag him outside, according to reports.
However they then realized Hendrix was too large to fit in a patrol car.
Hendrix was transported to Volusia County Branch Jail by an alternative means, Click Orlando reported.
Actually, I lied. If I ever get that fat everyone has permission to blow my brains out for me, since I doubt I’ll be able to waddle my fat ass all the way to the gun store to do it myself.
[H/T Daily Mail]