Every so often a cause comes along that takes hold of your soul so passionately that you feel as if you’re the only champion the world needs in order to ensure that cause sees the light of day. For me, this came one day here in the BroBible offices when we got to talking about Hooters, and some of my fellow bloggers began making outrageous claims such as “In no way are Hooter’s wings the best wings in the world.”
This quickly blossomed from a passing conversation, to a heated debate, to a full on blog post by Brandon. And afterwards, those of us on ‘Team Hooters’ reached out to Hooters on Twitter to tell them just how fucking great they are, and naturally this led to them telling us about a new NYC location that would soon be launched….well, actually, that invitation took place after yours truly started complaining to Hooters on Twitter that they should offer bottle service at some of their locations, because the fuck not?
Just picture it: you’re at Hooter’s Sarasota (my hometown Hooters), the Bucs are getting their asses stomped into the ground for the umpteenth time, and the beer just isn’t getting the job done quick enough…what you need in that situation is obviously a bottle of Fireball (because that’s what liquor they’d offer if they had bottle service available) on the table to pour a shot whenever you needed, instead of constantly having to ask for them to be sent over.
But I digress, last night myself, Brandon, David, and Rebecca trucked it on over to the new Hooters opening across from Penn Station for their VIP Grand Opening party where we were treated to unlimited wings and beer (and other stuff, but what’s the point? When in Rome…).
If you haven’t read the original post where we had an open discussion on the quality of food at Hooters, you can do so by clicking HERE. But know this: I’m as fierce a defender of Hooters as you’re likely to ever find in this world. I grew up not too far from Clearwater, the home of the original Hooters, it’s in my lifeblood. Throughout the course of my life I’ve had no less than 3 friends I went to school with work at Hooters, which led to a spike in my time spent at Hooters to soak up that employee discount. During those years I tasted anything and everything on the Hooters menu, falling in love with each and every dish. Just three weeks ago down in Sarasota I ordered RAW OYSTERS at Hooters, which while in hindsight wasn’t the best idea (I didn’t get sick, they just didn’t taste spectacular), I’d do it again and again and again. Because Hooters makes some of the best damn food you’ll ever eat, and if you think otherwise you’re a fucking moron.
So last night the four of us went over to Hooters, ate an asinine amount of wings, drank our share of Buds and Bud Lights, and then this morning I thought I should at least touch on the subject for the site. So I threw out a series of questions to my colleagues asking them to rate the various dishes, overall experience, ambiance, etc…The questions are as follows.
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best possible), I want you to rate the following items:
1.) Hot wings
2.) Medium wings
3.) Barbecue wings
4.) Thai wings
5.) Fried Shrimp
6.) Ambiance
7.) Decor
8.) Americana
9.) Attractiveness of the staff
10.) Friendliness of the staff
11.) Likelihood you’d watch a game there/treat it as a sports bar
Here’s what the group had to say…As you can see, brandon didn’t understand the assignment. His love for Hooters wings clouded his ability to read, and he couldn’t spend a single second longer in the world without extolling praise for all things Hooters:
1.) Hot Wings
Brandon: Hooter’s definition of hot is not the same as my definition of hot. Needed to really sauce this “hot” wings up in order to get them to a level of heat that I’m happy with. That said, they were ferfectly fried. Love that Hooters breads their wings, which makes for a nice change if you’re used to straight buffalo-style with no breading.
Rebecca: 5. Meh. Not hot.
David: 8
Myself: 10
2.) Medium Wings
Brandon: Pretty much zero heat at all. Kinda more like a fried chicken wing than anything. Never go medium at Hooters, Bros.
Rebecca: 5. Meh. Meh meh.
David: 8
Myself: 10
3.) Barbecue Wings
Brandon: I thought these were amazing. I’m not really a BBQ-sauce-on-fried-chicken guy and usually when I get any sort of barbecue wing, it’s something fiercely saucy. Like, drowning in sauce. But I applaude Hooters for lightly applying so that the wings still had their signature crunch.
Rebecca: Dunno
David: 1 but only because barbecue wings are a waste of wings.
Myself: 10
4.) Thai Wings
Brandon: Ehhhhh… Personal preference, but not really a fan of Thai wings anywhere. I keep it American.
Rebecca: Dunno
David: 8
Myself: 10
5.) Fried Shrimp
Brandon: !@!!!!@##%!#@%!#@%!!@#%!@#%!#@%@#%#!@%!!! These were an orgasm for my mouth. I couldn’t get enough. I could easily eat a half-pound or more in a sitting. That sweet-and-hot sauce was perfect, too.
Rebecca: 8/10, I would eat these on a regular basis if I didn’t care about being fat
David: 7 but only because shrimp sucks. they were tasty.
Myself: 10, I could eat these shrimp for every meal for the rest of my life. If I was stuck on a deserted island, I’d find a frier and hire a Hooters line cook to be stranded with me, and we’d eat these delicious little fuckers all day, every day.
6.) Ambiance
Brandon: The unpretentious sports bar the MSG hood needs. Brother Jimmys is great and all, but sometimes you want to stay on the east side of 7th Avenue before going to a game or show. Pretty sure the wings and food are a little bit better than Mustang Sallys or those other bars down the block from Penn Station/MSG. Def a step up from drinking/hanging in the LIRR/Amtrak terminal before going into the arena or grabbing a train. I’d pre-game my face off there while stuffing fried shrimp down my throat.
Rebecca: Every single man there aside from the BroBible people was old enough to be my dad. Weird.
David: Fantastic 1000 points
Myself: It’s literally my Disney World. From floor to ceiling, the atmosphere is all I want in a restaurant.
7.) Décor
Brandon: Classic Hooters wood panel chic. TVs everywhere. The view of MSG and 7th ave from the second floor was lovely. Date-worthy, even.
Rebecca: Usual Hooters shit. Boobs, wood paneling, more boobs.
David: Very appropriately Hooters.
Myself: If I won the lottery today I’d hire a Hooters decorator to construct my man cave, because Hooters looks exactly like what a man cave should be. This new Hooters did not disappoint, the quality control game from Hooters is SKRONG.
8.) Americana
Brandon: The only thing I thought was lacking. Would love to see more NASCAR and general hick-ishness in the location, like the Hooter’s Casino in Vegas or the restaurant in Atlantic City.
Rebecca: Wut
David: No flags. Was there supposed to be flags?
Myself: Is there anyone more American than Hooters? Hell no, it’s not even close. Hooters > everywhere else. Hooters = America.
9.) Attractiveness Of The Staff
Brandon: A few 10s, a couple 9s, and a whole lot of 8s. Appropriate levels of bustiness. I think my 80-something year-old grandparents — who frequent the Mytle Beach location twice a year and love to rate Hooter’s locations based off the attractiveness of the staff — would approve.
Rebecca: 10/10 duh
David: 100 percent attractive.
Myself: Much like Spearmint Rhino in Vegas, Hooters like to put together a staff from all walks of life. From blond and curvy to dark haired and curvy to auburn haired an curvy…they do it right. This new Hooters is no exception.
10.) Friendliness Of The Staff
Brandon: They kept a beer in my hand and a smile on my face. They didn’t really talk to us that much otherwise, though. Maybe Team BroBible is intimidating as fuck as a wolfpack.
Rebecca: 10/10 because they’re working for tips which we didn’t give them because we’re cheap assholes
David: Very friendly
Myself: Easily the nicest staff I’ve ever dealt with in NYC.
11.) Likelihood You’d Watch a Game There/Treat It As A Sports Bar
Brandon: Definitely. If I moved to the pastoral suburbs of New Jersey and had to deal with a daily commute in and out of Manhattan, that place would probably be my second home on Monday and Thursday nights during football season.
Rebecca: ehhh….40%?
David: I would watch a game there before i would watch it at the brother jimmies down the street
Myself: 100%. I cannot wait to come back.
I also asked them to fill in the blank on two question:
My opinion of Hooters overall changed last night because _____
and
When I think of Hooters ___ comes to mind first.
Brandon: My opinion of Hooter’s overall changed last night because: I’ve never been in a brand spanking new Hooter’s and it perfectly met my expectations of superior casual dining. When I think of Hooter’s, carnal desires for wings and beer comes to mind first.
Rebecca: My opinion of Hooter’s overall did NOT change because it was exactly what I expected: boobs, men, and stuff. When I think of Hooter’s boobs comes to mind first.
David: My opinion of Hooter’s overall changed last night because the food was tastier than i’d remembered and the place was cleaner. When I think of Hooters ‘Hooters’ comes to mind first.
Myself: My opinion of Hooters overall changed last night because they gave me free food and beer, and now I love them even more, and I didn’t know it was possible to love Hooters more than I already did. When I think of Hooters the color orange comes to mind first.
So there you have it. If you’re ever on the fence about going to Hooters just take our collective word for it and know that it’s ALWAYS a good decision to go to Hooters, ALWAYS.
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