When banging out for a sick day, it’s important to either go really specific, really humiliating, or really dark. “My grandmother fell down the steps and her dentures fell out and got lodged up her rectum.” This is tried and tested, and trust me, no boss wants to ask as follow up question about a 90-year-old’s anus. You can keep that, just don’t say I never done nothin’ for ya.
Some Scottish dude with a bizarre dialect made the crucial misstep of going with “the runs” excuse. This is JV material. What’s even more JV is what his boss called him out for next.
Now I know how debilitating and deluding a bad hangover can be, but forgetting and entire day and swindling some half-assed excuse to bang out of a work day that was never intended to be a work day can be summed up in three words:
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