I’m 29 years old. Single as a dollar bill. My goal is to find a woman who accepts, even embraces, my slight drinking problem and failure to diagnose my lactose intolerance, and then spend the rest of our days in a hammock smoking joints and drinking Bud Heavys. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, and I sure as hell won’t settle for anything less.
With that said, I can’t help but be disillusioned by this whole ‘everlasting love’ thing when I’m constantly being bombarded with stories about people fucking out of wedlock. The Washington Post reveals that a 1991 study claims that 70 percent of married women have cheated on their partners and a 1993 follow-up study found that 72 percent of married men have as well. Stats like this make me relieved to swipe right on Tinder until I get arthritis in my thumbs and spend Valentines Day scrolling through PornHub.
Welp, new evidence has come in to support the everlasting love myth, as the below letter has been dispersed throughout an entire neighborhood, outing a man and a woman of cheating on their partners.
The letter ended up in the hands of the dudes over at LADbible, who posted it to their site, redacting names. It is an utter shit sandwich. With an excess of mayo.
Live look at me right now:
Remember bros. Cheating is for the weak. You’re not weak, are you.
With that said, remember the code.
[h/t LADbible]