Kim Jong-Un Has Ordered A ‘Pleasure Squad’ Of Teenage Girls To Satisfy Every One Of His Fantasies


See. This is what happens when you hang out with Dennis Rodman too much. Dude gets in your head and gives you debaucherous ideas. Kim Jong-un has reportedly ordered a “pleasure squad” of teenage girls to serve his every wanting desire, which I imagine involves lots of cheeseburgers and cupcakes.

This isn’t even his idea, KJU stole the idea from his pops and his grandfather. The brainchild known as “Gippeumjo” or “Kippumjo” was first introduced in 1978, by the original Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Il-sung. The girls were recruited the First Vice Director of the Department of United Front of the WPK, Lee Dong Ho (No really, that’s the dude’s actual name). The pleasure squads or the pleasure brigades were used by the leaders up until Kim Jong-il’s death in 2011, when Kim Jong-un declared the practice to be dangerous. Toshimitsu Shigemura, a professor at Tokyo’s Waseda University and an authority on North Korean affairs, said that he stopped the pleasure squad because he didn’t trust the girls.

Reportedly, the girls are hand-picked by high-ranking authorities and must be tall and beautiful. There is no truth to the rumor that Bill Clinton is has volunteered to be the U.S. Ambassador to North Korea.

It is believed that some of the girls are as young as 13 or 14, which means that Kim has bigger tits than them. The girls are examined by a doctor to check whether or not they are still virgins. Someone get Chris Hansen on the horn and tell him to get ready to do an international version of “To Catch A Predator.”

The girls are taken out of school, taken away from their family and forced to please the North Korean leader. They are forced to sign a pledge of secrecy in return for money, said to be a little over $2,000, a large sum of money in the poor country. However, after the North Korean Jared Fogle is done with the girls they are forced into slavery.

If you look at this sickening sex slavery from the glass half full perspective, maybe the Great Pedophile Successor will stop being so fucking cranky and firing off nuclear missiles all the time.

Hopefully Kim’s rocket launches better than North Korea’s mid-range missiles do.

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