The greatest living human on planet Earth, Kim Jong-un, just proclaimed that sarcasm is now against the law in the utopian North Korea. And I’m not sure if it’s even fair to call Kim Jong-un a ‘human’ because he’s so goddamn perfect he’s more of a demigod, but for the purposes of this article I’ll call him ‘Great Leader’ for the rest of this.
The Great Leader made this anti-sarcasm proclamation after suspecting that his world class team of Generals and confidants are only agreeing with the things he says ironically. The UK’s Independent reports:
North Korea has forbidden people from making sarcastic comments about Kim Jong-un or his totalitarian regime in their everyday conversations.
Even indirect criticism of the authoritarian government has been banned, Asian media reported.
Residents were warned against criticising the state in a series of mass meetings held by functionaries across the country.
“One state security official personally organised a meeting to alert local residents to potential ‘hostile actions’ by internal rebellious elements,” a source in Jagang Province told Radio Free Asia’s Korean Service.
“The main point of the lecture was ‘Keep your mouths shut.’”
The caution was also issued in neighbouring Yangang Province, sources revealed.
Officials told people that sarcastic expressions such as “This is all America’s fault” would constitute unacceptable criticism of the regime.
I can’t help but wonder what the ‘this’ is that they’re referring to in the phrase ‘this is all America’s fault’. As we all know, North Korean citizens boast the highest quality of life on Earth and they’ve got the greatest satisfaction rating of any country since the dawn of civilisation. Every North Korean citizen comes out of the womb being fed from the teat of Emily Ratajkowski, and when they turn 16 each North Korean male is given a Ferrari 360 Spyder. Life in North Korea puts places like Switzerland, Monaco, and Costa Rica to shame. My feeble American mind cannot even begin to comprehend what the Great Leader would misconstrue as sarcasm because everything in NK is perfect, though my statement there is self-contradictory because the Great Leader is infallible and therefore incapable of misconstruing anything.
Before we leave let’s all watch some North Korean propaganda just for good measure, shall we?
…For more on this story you can click on over to The Independent…