This Is What It Looks Like to be Mauled by a Tiger, Plus a Story about Terrifying Tigers

From the Daily Mail:

Footage captured at a safari park in south west England shows the moment a big cat pounces on its prey – from the victim's perspective.

But have no fear, the victim is a remote video camera hidden in the snow at Longleat Safari Park in Wiltshire.

The hungry beast took such a liking to the camera that it started to eat it.

The small device carried on recording as Siberian tiger Soundari put it in her jaws, and captured incredibly close-up shots of the inside of the creature's gaping mouth.

Her razor-sharp teeth were so clear that when keepers at the park watched the footage back they were able to do a dental check on Soundari.

The footage also recorded her extremely rough tongue – designed to strip feathers, fur and meat from prey in the wild – as well as her black, cavernous throat.

Unsurprisingly, seven-year-old Soundari didn't like the taste of the two inch wide GoPro camera and spat it out.


Watch the video, yell at Nick Kroll for the 600th time, and meet me back here to tell you a little story about these orange-and-white monsters.

Back in the day, my fraternity, out of the goodness of everyone's heart—and TOTALLY NOT because of school-mandated community service—spent an afternoon helping build a shed at a tiger rescue shelter. The work sucked. It was maybe 95 degrees, we were essentially unskilled laborers entrusted only with moving gravel, and we didn't even get to fight off a loose tiger or two with our shovels and pick-axes. Nope. We just got the chance to be yelled at by a hippie dick who thought we were there because of criminal court.

Anyway, when we finished, Hippie Dick decided, with incredible generosity, that we could be led on a tour around the center. A guide was selected, and she first escorted us through habitats dedicated to smaller cats like pumas and panthers, we then saw a lion or two, and, finally, we reached the tiger cage.

As our guide explained to us that the center was established because idiots like Mike Tyson will buy tiger cubs, watch in horror as they grow into nature's finest killing machines, and then panic and release them into the wild (no, really), the tigers started to “stalk” us.

We had caught the animals' attention because of a treat bag our guide had on her hip, and they could smell it from fifty feet away. There was a 12-foot-tall fence. One by one the tigers sat and stared at our delicious flesh. And then they pounced, with five of them jumping at once into the chain-link. People don't realize this because they weigh 600 pounds, but tigers can jump incredibly high.

The fences were designed to lean a bit when they jump, because otherwise they can be knocked down. Our guides didn't inform us of this. So imagine a fence that looks about as sturdy as the de-electrified ones in “Jurassic Park” being bombarded by hungry tigers, and behind you there's literally no escape if they break through. They didn't, thank God—but one guy in our group peed himself a little.

Moral: Don't fucks with tigers. And just skip your fraternity's community service obligations.

[H/T: Daily Mail]