Meet Democratic Maryland State Delegate Ariana B. Kelly. Back in June, she was arrested for trespassing on her ex-husband’s property as well as an unusual case of indecent exposure.
Apparently the lawmaker was dropping off her children at her ex-husband Barak Sanford‘s house, who she was divorced from in November. Everything was going peachy keen until Kelly saw that her ex-husband’s new girlfriend was at his house. That’s allegedly when the politician lost her goddamn fucking mind.
According to the police report, “Sanford played a cellphone video for police that showed Kelly ringing the doorbell ‘numerous times,’ exposing her breasts in the direction of Sanford’s cellphone camera and then ‘with one breast in each hand [shaking] them up and down.'”
Like I’ve seen guys grab their dicks in a primitive display of manliness, but guys are animals so we expect that shit. But a 39-year-old female politician? To jiggle her feeders like that in such an aggressive way? Good for her. Maybe she has great tatas and wanted to remind her former lover all of the mammary goodness that he’s missing.
But the show was not over after the jug-juggling, because when police arrived and instructed her to leave because she was trespassing, Kelly thrust out her wrists at them and said, “Arrest me then.” And they did.
Kelly’s attorney, Luiz Simmons, said Kelly would be “aggressively disputing” the charges. The trial is set for Aug. 13.
Kelly was elected to the House of Delegates in 2010 and reelected last year. I’m all for women expressing themselves by getting buck naked and jiggling their boobies, so she’s got my vote.