A Guard Dished On What Really Goes On At Maximum Security Prisons (Lots And Lots Of Consensual Boning)
A guard at Australia’s most notorious maximum security prison went on a radio show recently to dish about what really goes on behind bars.
Is it knife fights? Is it gang brawls? Is it lots and lots and lots of consensual sex?
It’s the last one.
William, a prison guard who worked at the Sydney prison for 11 years, said on Wednesday that if he had a dollar for every time he’d caught prisoners having consensual sex in their cells, he could’ve retired after five years.
I don’t know how old William (not his real name) is, but let’s say he’s 30, then he’d need like two million dollars to retire. That means he witnessed 400,000 sex acts each year.
Which yea. That’s a lot (also that’s an approximation, but whatever). No matter. At Long Bay, which has a reputation as Australia’s toughest prison, fucking was the order of the day
“It doesn’t happen in the showers, it happens in the privacy of their cells at night,” he told Kiis 106.5’s breakfast show.
“There’s more action in prison than an after-party at the Mardi Gras.”
“They all claim they don’t do it,” he said. “They all say they’re macho and homophobic but they are doing it every night, every one of them. If they do more than six months in prison, they are having sex.”
Awww yea, up top hard(ened) criminals. Authorities, it sounds like, don’t discourage the massive dude fest, but rather help inmates fornicate safely.
He said prison officials handed out 10,000 condoms a year at Long Bay.
“In the mornings when we used to let them out of their cells it was common term to say things like, ‘Get out of your mates and out of the cell’. (Sex) was a very popular thing and it still is.”
Doing it is also a popular currency in the prison.
“Sex is used as a trade off — a popular prisoner at Long Bay would (perform sex acts) for a can of Coke.
I love a can of cola every now and then, but maybe not enough to blow a dude who murdered someone. Perhaps that calculus would change though if I couldn’t just walk to the fridge and get one.