Miley Cyrus SUPERfan Will Remove His 29 Tattoos Of Her Because She Said They Were ‘Creepy’

Meet Carl McCoid. McCoid is a 42-year-old father of three from England who owns an ironing business. That’s pretty much it. Oh wait, silly me. He also spent over $5,000 on 29 tattoos of Miley Cyrus.

According to the Daily Mail, Carl got his first Miley tattoo back in 2010 after he got divorced from his wife and since has plastered his body in lyrics, portraits and initials of the singer. He also named one of his daughters after Miley.

To give you guys a sense of what we’re dealing with here:


A photo posted by Carl McCoid (@mileycyrustattoos) on Jun 2, 2015 at 7:58am PDT


A photo posted by Carl McCoid (@mileycyrustattoos) on Feb 11, 2015 at 10:27am PST


A photo posted by Carl McCoid (@mileycyrustattoos) on Feb 12, 2014 at 10:11am PST


But, his whole world changed when Miley blasted him in an interview:

“There’s a dude that holds a record of the most pictures of my face, he has like 18 pictures of my face and they’re really ugly.”

Miley even went so far as to block him on Twitter. Cold, Miley. Stone cold.

In light of the tragic news, McCoid has made the decision to remove all 29 tattoos, in hopes that it will help find him a girlfriend. He claims that they never had a psychological effect on him until Miley called them creepy, then he realized he didn’t like them.

McCoid plans to undergo three laser removal procedures, which are time-consuming and expensive operations, and will undoubtedly cost more than the $5,000 he spent to get them inked on.

If this dude doesn’t have 24-hour suicide watch surveillance, the system is broken. Like more broken than this poor bastard’s heart. I can sympathize with this dude to some degree. One of my worst fears is meeting my idol and him being a complete dick. Like if Tom Brady ever called me a pussy, I’m not sure I could come back from it. My whole world would crash. Left would be right, up would be down, and I definitely wouldn’t watch him win his fifth Super Bowl this upcoming year. But as many New Yorkers know, fandom isn’t permanent (Everyone’s a Mets fan now, eh?), but tattoos kind of are. Unless you want to spend thousands of dollars and subject yourself to a world on pain to erase your unfathomably terrible decisions.

[H/T Daily Mail]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.