Obnoxious Dude Exposes His Girlfriend For Cheating On Snapchat And It’s Easy To See Why She Did

We all deal with traumatic situations in our own ways, so I’m going to try not to go in too hard on this self-proclaimed savage but holy shit dude did you ever think your girlfriend was cheating on you because you refused to stop jerking yourself off? We get it, you’re a mutha. fucking. SAVAGE. bro. and that’s how you do them cheating ass hoez, but me personally, I’d rather be just an average savage-less dude than have my girlfriend getting porked by her ex while I make dinner reservations for the two of us. Just personal preference.

P.S. I have no fucking clue why the chick parked three miles away in what looks to be a quiet residential neighborhood, but 10 more steps and she would have gotten gangrene.

[h/t Unilad]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.