Middle School Sends Out Letter Demanding Parents Stop Getting Stoned In The Parking Lot While Waiting To Pick Up Their Kids

The above letter was sent out to all parents and caretakers of children in Manchester, England’s St John’s middle school.

The transcript of the letter below, which may be easier on the eyes:

We have had concerning reports that parents have been using cannabis around the school premises as they drop off and collect their children. This has been reported by parents and has been noticed by some of the older children.

This is a serious safeguarding concern and if further complaints are brought to our attention, we will notify the relevant authorities. We have informed the community police service and they are likely to be keeping a close eye on the situation.

Please respect our school as a place of learning and make sure you set an appropriate example within the community.

Disclaimer: I’m typing with a hard bias considering I genuinely believe that weed is less harmful for your body than a Chipotle burrito, never mind a cigarette which contains tar, formaldehyde and 4,000 other chemicals. So I will try my best to defend the parents even though smoking weed in the parking lot of your kid’s school is the equivalent of having sex on their swingset. It’s a bonehead move that could be easily avoided.

And I can see the theoretical downside of parents toking up in the school’s parking lot–bad influence, blah blah–but the harsh reality is that children don’t want to be like their parents. They want to be like Beyonce and Leonardo DiCaprio. They don’t see a slightly overweight Mr. Tibbles puffing the magic dragon in his ’92 Toyota Corolla with two missing hub caps and hang his poster on their bedroom walls. No girl in elementary school has ever said “Gee, I can’t wait to get me a pair of those mom jeans!” When you’re in elementary school, parents are just convenient. You only realize how much you love them later on in life when you’re not a snot-nosed, self-important little shit.

So I ask, who are the real losers here? The parents get a little stoned and the kids probably get to go to Wendy’s everyday after school. Everyone’s happy.

[h/t Metro]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.