PETA Pleading For Rights Of Fictional Animals Makes Me Want A Fur Coat In Real Life
Lisa Lange, PETA’s Senior Vice President, penned a letter to director Tim Burton, who is allegedly making a live action remake of Disney’s hit movie, Dumbo.
The letter recommended that Burton give the iconic elephant a “truly happy ending”.
If you’ve never seen the original Dumbo, I’m sorry you never had a childhood. But in summary, Dumbo is an elephant who is ridiculed for his large, floppy ears and shunned by the other elephants. His only friends are his mother and a mouse named Timothy. Eventually, Dumbo becomes a media sensation because his floppy ears allow him to fly, so all his tormentors are quieted and all the female elephants get really wet. He ends up having an orgy with a herd of elephant groupies until his trunk nearly falls off. And everyone lives happily ever after. Until Dumbo passes away from an elephant AIDS.*
*Recalled to the best of my ability.
Anyway, here are some excerpts from the letter the PETA VP sent to Tim Burton:
We understand that you’ll be directing Dumbo, and if Alice in Wonderland, Frankenweenie, and Corpse Bride are any indication, the artistry of the computer-generated imagery in this remake is in good hands. We love the original Dumbo because it tells the story of the heartbreaking abuse that elephants in circuses endure, and we hope you will keep this storyline in the new film.
Lange also cited news that Ringling Bros. & Barnum will terminate the use of elephants in their circus by 2018.
We hope that in your adaptation of Dumbo, the young elephant and his mother can have a truly happy ending by living out their lives at a sanctuary instead of continuing to be imprisoned and abused in the entertainment industry. Thank you for your thoughtful consideration.
Burton has yet to respond to the letter, most likely because he’s still laughing his ass off.
In similar news, here’s a non-fictional elephant taking a bath. You’re welcome.