Would You Have Sex With This Potato Whose Photograph Just Sold For $1.4 MILLION??

This man sold a photograph of a potato for £750,000 (roughly $1.4 million).

A customer just walked into this dude’s shop and requested to buy it straight off the wall.

His name is Kevin Abosch and he is a photographer. Not only photographer, but by gone the best damn potato photographer this world has ever has ever seen.

Are you man enough to stare into the soul of a million+ dollar potato?



Ok then.

I’m going to need you to do a couple things first.

Lock your bedroom door.

Retrieve a moist towelette from your top drawer.

Put on your favorite Clay Aiken song.

Drop your jean shorts to your ankles.


Close your eyes.

Now open them.

I want to fuck this potato. But not even on the first date, I want to earn it with this tasty little vegetable (*Googles ‘Is potato a vegetable?’) I want to take this potato to dinner and then paint night with its friends and talk about their problems and then meet its parents because roots are important with potatoes I researched. After that I want to invite it back to my place and when she asks if I wanna ‘fuck’ I’d respond ‘No. I want to make love.’ And then I’d have sex with it but it would mostly be just kissing and sensual heavy petting.

Just kidding, I would fuck the starch out of this potato.

Make a fucking bisque of this betch.

[h/t Unilad]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.