Lil Bitch Bear Cub Needed Police To Remove His Head From A Protein Tub Because He Was Too Weak To Do It Himself

by 4 years ago
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bitch bear

Hey news for ya little bitch bear cub: if you’re not swole enough to rip a plastic container off your head, you have zero business occupying the bench while you stare at your little bitch biceps in the mirror, sending snapchats to your little bitch bear friends.

I don’t give a shit if your father legit ate a human being, you walking into the gym like you’re fucking Dwayne Johnson pussyfooting your way around the elliptical machines waiting for chicks to praise you for being “SoOoo cute” is really chapping my ass. Do you know what I have to do to get girls to tell me I’m cute? Make a fake Tinder profile or threaten them.

And here you are, BY FAR the hairiest dude at the gym, decked out in all the freshest Under Armor gear, and I’ve yet to see a drop of sweat fall down your bitch face. I just bench pressed a small Buick and your mere presence is making me weaker.

Check out these fucking enablers.

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No wonder you look so gassed, bitch bear. That’s the most you’ve worked out in your goddamn life.

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While we’re on the subject, is there a bigger psycho out there than the Charmin bear?

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charmin bear

Didn’t think so.

[h/t Mashable]