Bros, Science Says Getting Drunk On A Weekday Is Fine As Long As We Get Enough Sleep–So, What You Guys Doing Today?


Ok, Science. I GUESS I’ll get fucked up again tonight. Granted, my liver is legit aching from Memorial Day weekend, but if you tell me I can poison my body for the sixth straight day as long as I start at lunch, I’m not going to argue with control groups and dependent variables and other shit I never bothered to pay attention to in high school.

Because according to a study one by Cambridge University and Rand Europe in a mission to find the UK’s healthiest company, productivity at work isn’t affected by how much you drink, smoke, or eat on a given night as it is affected by the amount of sleep you get.

Researchers found that those who sleep for less than six hours a night were less productive at work than those who got seven or more, according to a study of 21,000 UK employees. Employees with financial concerns (shit), mental health issues, or musculoskeletal problems also experienced lower productivity in the workplace than those rich and healthy bastards. Also, those who felt bullied at work or who felt unrealistic time constraints, were reportedly not the in the “Employee of the Month” conversation. They found zero correlation between drinking and productivity.

I think I can speak for most of us when I say that “pulling an all-nighter” isn’t a foreign concept. Turns out, we might as well just take a haymaker to the head.

According to Daily Mail, researchers from Uppsala University in Sweden found that pulling an all-nighter alters the brain similar to those who experience a blow to the head.

Study author Professor Christian Benedict said,

“What we found was their levels in the blood rose in the group that went without sleep for a night. This was not to the extent that would happen after a head injury, for instance, but it was still significant.

During sleep the brain cleans itself of toxic substances and NSE and S-100B (biomakers for brain damage) increase in response to these substances.”

So there it is bros, drink up. Unfortunately, when I start drinking, it’s difficult for me to stop and it often cuts into a good nights sleep. So I’ve decided to be responsible and take steps to amend this issue. I will only start drinking now if, and only if, the sun’s out. Sun’s Out, Rum’s Out. Join my health crusade.

[H/T LADbible]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.