Shitfaced Drunk Old Guy Playing Dizzy Bat On Spring Break Is Everything I Aspire To Be

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Class of ’77 represent. For any aging soul who’s doubted their ability to ‘College’, this dude is a symbol of Hope, a living, breathing green beacon of light at the end of the dock separating East and West Egg. The only thing that would make this video more perfect is if it showed what inevitably happened after: him screwing a fleet of hot college chicks in his dusty letterman jacket. I just wish I were there to take it all in.

I’d also be interested in hearing how he spins it to his kids as they wait by themselves at school waiting for daddy to come pick them up. Tell them to walk, just like you did during the Great Depression. Party on, playa.

“Hold the bottom, asshole!” Ignore the noise.