‘Stuff Guys That Peaked In High School Say’ Is Scary Accurate

You know the exact dudes that this video is talking about. The guy who starts every fucking sentence with “Remember when…” and then finishes said sentence by rattling off some high school sports accomplishment or sexual conquest that he had over a decade ago. That convo goes a little something like this…

Him: “Yo, dude. Remember when Keely gave me a hand job on the back of the bus when we were going to Six Flags for our junior class trip?”

You: “Of course I remember that, because you remind me about it EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE YOU. Guess you haven’t gotten laid since your hairline is now closer to the nape of your neck than it is your forehead. But fuck it, Brah, that handy will sustain you forever, right?”

That guy is who this video is skewering. Those guys you went to high school with who not only peaked too early, but they also can’t stop trying to relive the glory days through their seemingly endless supply of “Remember when” stories, AKA the lowest form of conversation.

Who the video is not talking about is the rest of us who peaked in our early 20s and still talk about that as if we were the first guys to ever juggle five chicks at once and repeatedly go to work hungover. That video will probably come out at a later date and when it does, we can feel stupid. But for now, let’s laugh at Johnny Football Hero who never amounted to shit.

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