If you’ve ever worked in retail chances are that you have a handful of bizarre stories up your sleeve from off-the-wall encounters with customers.
In college I worked at Best Buy for a brief stint, and while it wasn’t on the level of the story you’ll read below, one story that really stuck out to me was the time some guy came in tripping balls on ether, trying to get me to sniff his fingernails, and wanted to find a Hello Kitty case for his iPhone. If you stick around in retail for long enough, you’re bound to see some weirdness. Case in point: r/TalesFromRetail.
‘Tales From Retail’ is a subreddit devoted to the batshit insanity that happens while working in retail, and a HEATER just came through the pipeline. It’s the story of a time when a woman was working at an adult sex toys store and a couple came in to buy a dildo…an encounter that ultimately led to a coming to Jesus and (most likely) the demise of a couple.
It was a normal morning, a few rental customers, but otherwise not much activity yet. My coworker and I were rather bored as all our cleaning and organizing had been completed. Pretty sure we were talking about the new Pirates Fleshlights that had came in a few days prior.
The door jingles and in walk a couple. The man was not hesitant at all about walking in. However, the woman was. She was partially hiding behind his back, nervously glancing around like she thought a dildo was going to jump out at her. When she saw my coworker and I (Both women) behind the counter she seemed to relax a bit.
Her boyfriend grabbed her hand and drug her over to the high priced toy cabinet, and started talking to her about what he wanted to get her. My coworker and I stopped paying much attention at that point as he obviously had been in before and knew to ask for help. She was nervous, but it got much worse as he then started to go farther into the store.
While the high priced toys are up front, the farther you go back…the more “exotic” the toys get. While you start with the cutesie almost novelty vibrators, it ends in items like the American Challenge and a full hand and fist. Next to those was the BDSM toys.
She started muttering that she really shouldn’t be in there when they started at the vibrator wall. It got louder, and interlaced with “I’m a good Catholic girl, this is wrong!”. Not the first time this has been said in the store, so I don’t pay it much attention.
What I didn’t expect was when she reached the American Challenge. It’s giant, it’s purple, and can be QUITE a shock. It has never, however, pushed someone to hysterics.
She started panicking. And crying. And fanning her face. “WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT! THAT IS SO WRONG! THEY NEED TO FIND JESUS!”
Then she saw the fist, and cried even harder. She started backing up out of the section, swearing at her boyfriend for bringing her in there. Then she saw the little glass case that we knew would get us a little flack, but it was worth it.
This company makes silicone molded toys. No vibrating, but very high quality. The subject matter: The baby Jesus (A plug), the Virgin Mary, the Devil, ect. There was even a model of the bible you could use if you were a guy to…screw.
She screamed, pointing at the case. And very quickly decided to get mad. At us. “YOU ARE GOING TO HELL FOR THIS! HOW DARE YOU USE THEM LIKE THAT! I’M REPORTING YOU TO…TO…SOMEONE!”
She ran out of the store, with her boyfriend almost on the floor laughing. He knew EXACTLY how she was going to react, and did it anyway. We also started laughing after he left. What did she expect? We will never know.
TL;DR: A woman finds Jesus in an adult store. Decides not to screw herself with Him.
Bruh! If there’s any chance your girlfriend is going to run screaming from the Dildo Emporium after seeing religious icons plastered on BDSM devices…it’s best not to bring her there.
That is unless you’re a cruel asshole who knew that this was the most efficient way to get her to break up with you, in that case your plan worked (but you’re still an asshole).
For more from ‘Tales From Retail’ you can CLICK HERE.