Watch Teenager Set The World Record By Solving Rubik’s Cube In 5.25 Seconds

If you told me I could have sex with the entire Dallas Cowboys’ cheerleading squad if I solved a Rubik’s Cube within seven days, I’d end up having to settle with jerking off to their 2014 swimsuit calendar when the clock hits 0:00. It doesn’t matter if I just guzzled my entire adderall prescription, my brain simply doesn’t work like that. Way too many moving parts for the few brain cells I have left. This teenager just did in 5.25 seconds what would take me a lifetime. Whatever, I bet I would annhilate this dude in the fewest seconds to bust a nut during sex. COME AT ME, BRO!

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.