For some reason, no matter how often men say we hate doing something, women just keep asking us to do it. Telling a woman you don’t want to do something, and hoping she won’t ask again, is like throwing a cooked steak in a dog park then yelling “SIT” with the hope that your dog will stay put. Newsflash: It won’t.
Women never give up – when it comes to forcing a man to go to some crappy dinner, they develop a level of intensity the likes of which the world has never seen. That said, here are the top 4 things chicks force men to do that we hate.
1. Meeting her parents
Women never understand why men hate to do this. It’s because we’re trying to have sex with you, and goddammit, these people know it. Meeting the parents of the girl that you’re currently sleeping with is like walking up to the bank you’re going to rob and high-fiving the security guard while looking him in the eye and saying, “Hey dude, I hope you got bullets because I breaking in this bitch TODAY.”
A girl’s parents will take one look at you and realize their job as parents can be summed up simply by knowing how long it may have taken you to score with their daughter.
2. Meeting her friends
Friends in a girl’s circle of friends switch out more often than LeBron James team mates. Getting to know a girl’s friends is like trying to remember who else was in the Destiny’s Child: I remember Beyoncé, and that’s about it — I wouldn’t remember the other girls if they robbed me at gunpoint at a gas station. No man wants to sit in a group of five or more girls all giggling at jokes that are never funny, giving out empty compliments and all lying about how the fat chick doesn’t look fat. Ladies men don’t want to meet your friends because bottom line, your friends suck.
3. Going to see “guy movies” with them
Going to see a guy movie with a girl is horrible. During the movie a woman will ask you so many goddamn questions, it’s like she thinks you directed the fucking movie. Once, during the first five minutes of a horror movie I had a girl lean over and ask me, “So which guy is the killer?” I just looked at her and thought, “Well, asshole, since I’m not Sherlock Holmes, Colombo, a member of the Scooby Doo gang, or a cop on Law & Order, I’m pretty sure I’ll need a few more minutes to figure that shit out, the opening credits just don’t give me enough to go on.”
During a guy movie a woman will ask more questions than five game show hosts combined. The moment you don’t want answer anymore she will get upset and say, “Well fine I just won’t talk anymore,” which is a fucking weird threat because that would be great…if it were true. A girl threatening to not talk anymore is like a prison guard threatening to make a prisoner leave the prison if he causes anymore problems.
4.Going to clubs
For some reason girls will ask a guy to take them to a club. This is a horrible idea. Why would a man take a girl to a place filled with drunk, horny, single guys that are only there to look for girls? Taking a hot girl to a club is like taking a lobster and steak buffet to a soup kitchen and asking bums not to touch it. Then, there is the inevitable moment when some dude pisses off your girl and now you have to fight. Of course your girl won’t get into an argument with a dude that’s even close to your size. Nope. She had to pick a fight with a dude so big the only way you can win is if Jesus is your tag team partner.
There you have it my brothers, now get out there and avoid these things like a broke girl avoids a credit check.