As a longtime Seattle resident, let me tell you: when the weather gods up above stop pissing on us and the rain-bloated clouds part, and that strange phenomenon the rest the world calls sunlight breaks through to say ‘whaddup,’ the crazies come out their caves. Rain-soaked streets once populated by brigades of bright multi-colored, North Face jacket-clad urbanites quick gives way to a scene that vaguely reminds you of what the goddamn liberation of France must’ve looked like.
The proverbial ‘Seattle Freeze’ thaws over, people once again familiarize themselves with human conversation, and if you’re lucky you might even spot a timid smile here and there. Yes, the effects of an over-caffeinated, coffee-crazed society seem to show face.
Oh, also, every last looney tune comes runnin out his or her cave: from the sharpie sniffing, glue-addled goblin, to the chick with no eyebrows that was semi-normal till she told you to hand back her baby, and stop petting her alligator, which both for sure weren’t there. Yeah, it’s a party.
Well, this weekend the east coast was violated in every orifice by the giant cock of an epic blizzard. Besides a bunch of dudes straight up losing their minds, collectively deciding ‘fuuuck it’, flashing tits to the wind, and generally displaying all symptoms of insanity; some emboldened son of a wayward son challenged Tian Tian to a rumble in the urban arctic tundra.
Kudos to this dude for leaving it all out there, but come on man, you just can’t hold a candle to Tian Tian.