There is nothing worse than being accused of flirting with someone when you’re not actually flirting at all. Like, Bro — OF COURSE that hot brunette bartender at Hooters is being extra chatty with you. It’s literally her job to make you think you are a special unicorn so you shower her with an extra-generous 30% tip upon leaving the establishment.
A newlywed waitress in Ohio, Jessica Morris, went to grab a bill after serving two couples. The one bill didn’t have a tip. Instead, the customer left the catty following note: “He’s my husband! Find your own! Good luck.” Mmmmm…. I love the passive-aggressive smell of feminine insecurity and jealousy in the morning. Reminds me of the high school cafeteria.
It’s really just a reminder that we’re all animals on two feet when it comes to mating.
The waitress put the couple on blast on Facebook with an epic rant, as one does in 2015:
*WARNING LONG READ AHEAD, BUT ITS A GOOD ONE AND A PSA FROM ALL SERVERS*
I don’t typically talk about work this way, but this needs to be shown/addressed. Mainly because it’s hysterical but partially because I’m offended lol
Anywho, today I had a table of 4 come in. Two couples. The one told me they were there to celebrate part of their honeymoon, which I replied “oh I just got married last month, congratulations.” I assumed they heard me, and we proceeded with the whole “what can I get you” yada yada yada.
Well, as anyone SHOULD know, waitressing is a personable job. To make money you have to be nice, and show you personality. As all of you should know, since you know me, I’m a personable, sarcastic a**hole in the nicest way possible. So ofcourse I let that shine in my job, and at EVERY table.
So, this lady (Jenny) and her husband place their order and she asks me what my name is. I tell her “Jessica” she responds with, “oh, we don’t really like that name. Can we call you Jess” and I laughed and said “yeah, you can call me anything you want. I’ll even respond with a**hole.” In which her husband laughs and proceeds to call me that throughout the whole experience we had as server and guests.
I assumed everything was fine, because they were laughing and having a good time. Well I cash out their check, tell them have a good night and to come back. When I come back from singing “happy birthday” to another guest, the couple and company have left, and on one ticket they tipped me $4, well Jenny decided I did not deserve a monetary tip, so she wrote me a nice note, with a $0 tip saying “he’s my husband, find your own. Good luck. 🙂 ”
And I want to add, Jenny stole my one pen, which she knew was my last because I had apologized that I only had the one to share between the two tickets at the table.So, Dear Jenny,
I would like you to know, the server that was in the section across from mine, that I kept talking to and checking on throughout the time of you sitting at my table IS MY HUSBAND. Which I found on my own, and looks better than yours. Also, I would like you to know that I’m sorry MY HUSBAND treated me to a cruise for my honeymoon and not a restaurant. As well as, MY HUSBAND would never let me feel so insecure that I would feel the need to write such a terrible note to a server and make them feel the way you have.
So Jenny, here’s a life tip for you from me, your insecurity as a woman is heartbreaking. Have pride in yourself and your relationship with YOUR husband to where you don’t need to put another down to bring yourself up. Especially a server who lives off her tips and needs them to help her husband pay bills. Also, Jenny, I hope you like the pen, because it’s my present to you. One NEWLYWED to another.P.S – my husband said you can sit in his section next time that way you won’t have to be so worried about your husband “flirting” with a server :). Maybe you’ll see his ring a little better than you saw mine.
Signed, Jessica
The woman you offended by thinking so lowly of, that I would attempt to flirt with a man who is with his wife.
There are two takeaways here: (1. Always tip here in America, even if the service is garbage you can leave 5%. And (2. Not every other woman is flirting with your man, ladies.
[H/T: Mashable]