Thank God That Some Walmart Shoplifter’s Daring Escape On A Mobility Scooter Was Caught On Camera

I don’t know how mankind existed before the dawn of modern technology. They actually had to use their words and mental capacity to properly explain funny stories. “Bro, it was hilarious. He took the shot, fell backwards out of his chair, smashed his head into the table next to us and crushed his nuts between his thighs.” “Yeah that actually sounds horrible. I guess you had to be there.” I mean, oral tradition? Get the fuck out of here with that shit. I don’t want to hear a watered down version of a story that probably is missing key components that you’ve forgotten as the years have gone on. “I used to know this hilarious story about a dude accidentally swallowing the ring he was going to propose to his girlfriend with so he stuck a gerbil up his ass to retrieve it for him. Or was it a hamster?”

This is why I’m thankful everyday that I grew up in the age of the viral video. We don’t word, just cameras. Take this footage of a Walmart shoplifter escaping from the store on an electric scooter.

This would never have worked without video cameras. “Dude, some guy tore out of Walmart on a scooter and pinned an employee to a dumpster.” “Sure, Chad, good one. Go back to your cubicle and leave me the fuck alone.” I’m mostly impressed that no one just tried to grab the controls. He can’t take on three people at once. Or also, why did no one just push him off the scooter? I feel like that would solve the majority of their problems. Criminals can’t shoot a gun if you cut off their hands. It’s the same thing.