I know I’m not in the minority when I say that I’ve swiped through tens of thousands of online dating profiles. My parents would be proud to know that I’ve spent more time studying ladies’ profiles than I did all my five years in college. With this huge sample size, I’ve noticed some themes. Here are five of them:
- Girls love black and white photos because no one has ever looked bad in a black and white photo.
- In a group picture, the girls on the end will always put their hands on their hips, forming a sideways triangle with their arms. I think this ensures their arms look skinny or something.
- Every woman’s profile will contain one picture of her in a vineyard or an apple orchard in a flannel shirt and obnoxiously large glasses.
- Live, laugh, love.
- Girls will include their Instagram handle in their profile, but when you go to do a deep creep, their profile will be private. Why you do dis.
But, I’m not naive in thinking that there are common threads within men’s profiles that irritate ladies. And they’re probably far more deplorable. The women of Reddit came out in droves to answer the question: what are things men write on their dating profiles that are instant deal breakers?
Here are the top responses:
Anything that insinuates you’re too good to be on [insert dating site here]. If you were really too good for Tinder, you wouldn’t be on Tinder.
Women do this too. “Can’t believe I’m on this again lol.” Tell that to your snaggle tooth.
god🙏🏽 family👪 ball🏀 grind💰 gains💪🏽 goals🔥 hmu 😉
Seems about right. HMU.
When men list, “Makin $$$”, under profession. I don’t understand are they printing out counterfeit bills?
You complain, but whose going to pay for those 128 tote bags you’ve bookmarked on Chrome.
Complaining about exes on the profile is a big deal breaker for me.
“Love traveling, working out, eating clean. P.S. Hey Paige, you were the equivalent to unbuttered popcorn in the bedroom.”
“I’m an alpha.”
Translation: I have a micropenis, but also a motorcycle.
“my truck is the most important thing in the world” BYE
Maybe you should reconnect with your family members, bro.
About me: “Just ask”
Likes: “Idk, lots of stuff lol”
Either that, or “I’m a true gentleman just looking for a real lady.” Self-proclaimed gentleman are usually damaged, doormats, or wish reality was like TV-1950s.
But the worst – the actual worst – only reveal themselves after you start messaging. The ones who make you carry the whole conversation. They never ask questions, even when they were the ones who initiated, and they give one-sentence answers. The worst.
“Chivalry is dead.” *Shoots out dick pic*
Their sexual resumé. I had one guy say he had a 10 inch cock, was down for cuffs, and loved to eat ass. Next!
Also… I hate the term Sapiosexual. I like intelligent people, but you sound like a pompous ass if you’re using Sapiosexual.
That guy seems like THE MAN.
Anything along the lines of “just tired of games” or “looking for someone who is real” You sound like a whiney person who has some serious baggage.
Looking for someone who is real? Are you banging a blow up doll, bruh?
Check out the entire thread at Reddit dot com.