For everyone reading that headline and thinking “Man, how insane do you have to be to bury your boss in the sand and then beat him in the head with a metal measuring tool?” the answer is as crazy as that guy in the picture. That guy has a look of pure, unadulterated craziness in his eyes. He sees dead people. And if he can’t find any, he makes his own dead people.
According to police, Erick Cox (aka ‘Pork Chop’) used a front end-loader to bury his boss, Perry Byrd, up to his waist in dirt at a Wal-Mart construction site they were working on in Orlando. Pork Chop then beat Byrd over the head with a metal, 6 foot level until he was unconscious.
Via Daily Mail:
“The pair had been arguing at about 7:20am at a construction site for a new Wal-Mart when Cox used a front-end loader to dumped dirt onto Byrd, pinning him to the ground, witnesses told police. Byrd, unable to free himself, could only watch as Cox then got another load of dirt and dropped it onto his body, burying him up to his waist.
‘Please hurry, somebody come out here. He just hit him with a loader and is about to kill him,’ one witness said in a 911 call. ‘Somebody tried to kill him on my job, please come out.’
That witness said the dirt was followed up by repeated attacks with the level, leaving Byrd unconscious and with a four-inch gash in his head, the Orlando Sentinel reported. The police report said that Cox was ‘standing over Byrd cussing and laughing about the situation’ after the attack, and only then did a group of men dig Byrd out. Byrd was taken to hospital, where he was diagnosed with a fractured skull and bleeding in his brain, WFTV reported.
In his defense, Cox claimed that Byrd had been argumentative and foul-mouthed from the moment he arrived at work at 6:30am, and that Byrd had threatened to beat him up, then spat and swung a fist at him. The worker said he was trying to leave when Byrd threatened to ‘cut his head off’ and reached into his pocket. Cox says he hit Byrd in self-defense, and that the second load of dirt was an accident, according to WESH. Cox claimed that he dumped the dirt accidentally when he bumped the control lever reaching for the keys to the vehicle, according to the police report.”
Listen Pork Chop, we’ve all been there. Your boss probably got blue-balled by his wife the night before and gets a little mouthy and tries to blame you. The ‘ole “My wife got bored of giving me a blowjob and went to sleep so now I’m crabby and full of pent-up frustrations” conundrum. It’s not your fault, PC, but if everyone else is able to successfully not beat the fuck out of their bosses when this happens, you probably should be able to as well. You know, you could tell him your boss to ‘fuck off’, but maybe try and not bury him up to his waist in dirt and then beat him with a 6 foot metal pole. I know it’s hard, but just give it a try. I believe in you.
That being said, we should definitely be taking the fact that Byrd was cranky with a grain of salt considering that the guy who is telling us this is the same guy who buried him up to his waist before beating him bloody with a smile on his face. Byrd very well could have said “Good morning” to Porky C and got a very violent response. Especially if he’s out here “accidentally” hitting the dirt-dumping lever twice in a row. Plus he laughed. No one who is actually that upset about anything is committing a crime of passion will laugh. They’ll probably cry. Most likely scream in anger. Maybe even get an anger boner. But never laugh. Only crazy people laugh when they beat someone half to death. Like a grown man who willingly responds to the name Pork Chop.