Women Are Spending Absurd Money To Get Their Labias Reduced Just So People Can’t See Them In Yoga Pants


So… I blame us for this. In the heydays of the yoga pants craze, men idolatrized the stretchy fabric, damn near to the point of perversion.

Imagine if women became obsessed with seeing the outline of your dick in your gym shorts, then started websites obsessed with the outlines of dicks in gym shorts, chronicling how well the world could see your dick on a Saturday morning.

Hey, Look At This Guy’s Dick In Gym Shorts; or, worse

You Can’t See This Guy’s Dick In His Gym Shorts Because He’s Got A Small Dick. Meet Small Dick Joe.

Believe it our not, that’s what us dudes did from like 2011-2014, which put a tremendous amount of pointless societal pressure on a group to look a certain way.

Hence, now, women are spending thousands of dollars to get their labias reduced just so fucks like us can’t see the outline of them in yoga pants.

Fucking nutso. Via The New York Post:

According to the American Society for Aesthetic Surgery (ASAPS,) there has been a significant increase in the number of these tissue removal and restructuring procedures — an astonishing 48 percent rise in 2014 from 2013.

“More women are pursuing labiaplasty to correct labia-related issues that are interfering with their ability to perform sexually, to perform daily tasks such as exercise, or are merely causing discomfort,” says Dr. Michael Edwards of ASAPS.

On New York’s Upper East Side, [Dr. Robert] Swift reports that a large number of his clients are motivated by wanting to look sleeker in so-called “athleisure wear,” made from Lycra-like fabrics which often compress the area.

“The ubiquitous yoga pants that everyone is wearing are playing a big part in this trend,” says Swift, who performs between three and five labiaplasties per week at the cost of between $5,500 to $7,500 each.

That’s a lot of fucking money for a stupid fucking reason. But I get it. We’ve completely fetishized a simple piece of workout clothing.

We brought this about. Maybe every dude should chip in like $50 bucks to reimburse the women who have had this done. Or even considered it. And then we could stop drooling over such a simple thing as “ZOOMMG you can see a little bit of her box through her pants.”

We’re better than that. (I mean, I know we aren’t, but let’s at least try.)

All that said, though, it should be noted that this story is about wealthy to-do Upper East Side ladies, so maybe we shouldn’t feel all that bad.

But still… be a little less generically horny. It’s a good life ethos.