Yuppie St. Patty’s Day Fist Fight Can Most Accurately Be Described As ‘Cute’

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I’m not a fighting type of guy. I’ve done it before, but not after considering all other options. Like almost pretending to have a choking fit while my opponent stood in front of me bouncing back and forth stretching his neck out comes to mind.

But I know one thing: I would fucking tie these trust fund babies in a knot. I’d be so confident I’d belt out a “THIS. IS. SPARTA.” before dropping bodies.

These dudes look petrified. They’d want to be literally anywhere else, which is highlighted in their ‘hit-and-run’ technique. Only one I’m a little intimidated by is the girl. She’s feisty and has a quick 1-2 jab. Would probably try to reason with her.