It’s hard out here for a Cowboys fan. I feel like very few weeks, another player goes down for a different reason. Whether it be a player getting cut for being openly remorseless about beating his girlfriend and tossing her onto a futon covered in assault weapons or whatever injury Tony “Glass Bone Structure” Romo is currently dealing with, they never seem to be moving in a direction that involves strengthening their team.
Which is why I’m not really that surprised that Darren McFadden just admitted that he broke his elbow while diving on the floor to catch his brand new iPhone from breaking.
Via ESPN:
“Dallas Cowboys running back Darren McFadden had surgery on a broken right elbow on Tuesday that could keep him out of the Sept. 11 season opener against the New York Giants.
Coach Jason Garrett said the injury happened over Memorial Day weekend at McFadden’s house. McFadden fell on the elbow while trying not to drop his cellphone, Cowboys running backs coach Gary Brown said.
McFadden took part in last week’s organized team activities, wearing a protective sleeve on his arm, but he did not say anything to the team’s athletic training staff until Friday.
At his physical on Monday before the minicamp, X-rays revealed the fracture. The surgery was performed Tuesday morning.”
Gary Brown on Darren McFadden's fall: "He was trying to keep his iPhone S, his brand new one from hitting the ground and cracked his elbow."
— Brandon George (@DMN_George) June 14, 2016
Really, the Cowboys were due for an injury or an arrest. It’s been a few weeks. If a scientist ever wanted to prove that lightning actually does strike twice in the same place, all they’d have to do is present a thesis on the comedy of errors that is the Cowboys roster. I mean, come on. These guys make more money than anyone reading this right now does and I’m sure the majority of us could afford a new iPhone if we really needed to. This guy could have had a new phone within the hour. And, even if he was worried about losing all the contact and Snapchat information of his various bang buddies, all you have to do is tell the Apple techs that you need your info transferred from one phone to the other and you’re sending sausage pics before you’ve even left the store. I’m actually assuming the iPhone story is just a horrible cover-up. Memorial Day weekend? He was drunk as a skunk and either fell or did something really stupid that ended with him landing on the floor elbow first. And I get that, pro athletes party too. But you’re a Cowboy, Darren. Your chances of injury pretty much automatically double when you sign on the dotted line. If you’re going to drink too much, you have to do so sitting down. And even then, it’s no guarantee. Your best bet is to get drunk while both alone and sitting down. Sure, it’s boring. But you know what else is boring? Drinking alone while sitting and not making NFL money because you kept falling on your elbow.
[h/t Busted Coverage]