Cristiano Ronaldo Found A Random Hot Chick’s Cell Phone In Vegas, Returned It, And They Made A Night Of It ;)

by 3 years ago  •  2 Comments
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Imagine this, bros.

You’re out with your buddies in Vegas trying to look like you can afford to be there, drinking, pea cocking, checking out the absolute dime pieces who refuse to look in your direction. All is well until you suddenly lose your phone. This is a huge problem because it’s not under warranty and now you have no way of texting that 6 you met at the pool who seemed eh, interested enough. Suddenly, your buddy gets a text from your phone from the person who found it out by the pool. She describes herself as 5’7” brunette wearing a turquoise bikini and to meet her in the hotel lobby. Naturally, you and your boys let your imaginations run wild…

“What if she’s that hot poolside waitress who smiled when you gave her a $29 tip for a Bud Light? She was TOTALLY looking for it. And there was a shade of turquoise in her bikini.”

“That wasn’t turquoise, it was orange. You’re shitfaced, bro. Sleep it off.”

Nonetheless, you’re an optimistic dude so you shower and throw on a splash of cologne before heading down to meet the good samaritan. As you walk into the lobby, you see the one, the only Emily Ratajkowski in a skimpy turquoise bikini, looking a little lost and dare you say..lonely?

Your boner hits you in the throat. You tuck it into your bathing suit waistband and tell yourself that if you mutter a few English words without your voice cracking, it’s a win. The sexiest woman on the planet immediately takes a liking to you. Must be your ever-growing man boobies or the cologne your dad wore to his prom. Erroneous. She then looks a bit embarrassed and propositions you with the greatest proposition you will ever hear in your average-dude life: “Would you, ah, wanna grab dinner tonight? *bites bottom lip*” You make an involuntary sound because you’re incapable of annunciating words and she takes it as a ‘yes.’ You take down her number and float to the elevator. You immediately jizz your pants as you head to floor 11 and don’t even care that there’s a well-to-do family of five riding it up with you.

You run into your hotel room to tell your boys and you all immediately start jumping on the bed like you just hit a game-winner.

Because that’s more-or-less what happened to this chick named Austin Woolstenhulme, who was in Vegas with some friends over the 4th of July weekend to see Zedd. Except instead of Emily Ratajkowski, the cell phone was found by the greatest soccer player on the planet, Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo took her and her friends to dinner. Her being smoking hot had nothing to do with it, though. Nothing.
And her friends who joined? All 11/10’s.

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A photo posted by Austin Woolstenhulme (@austinmilan) on Jul 4, 2015 at 11:22am PDT

//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.jsGetting cozy.

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And BOOM. Back in his suite. To be a fly on the wall….

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[H/T Complex]


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