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Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players to ever step onto the pitch, so it’s only natural that plenty of people want to pay tribute to him (in addition to paying him tons of money that allows him to buy houses designed to make you feel bad about your life). It’s Cristiano’s world and we’re just living in it.
I’ve always said the way you know you’ve made it is when someone decides to make a statue of you because there’s nothing cooler than being immortalized forever (with apologies to a certain number of monuments located below the Mason-Dixon line). As if I wasn’t jealous enough of him already, Ronaldo has been lucky enough to be the inspiration for a number of statues dedicated to his greatness over the years.
The first was erected a few years ago in his hometown of Madeira, Portugal, and I say “erected” on purpose because the statue features a bulge in Ronaldo’s pants that must have made Michelangelo’s David feel even worse about himself than he already did. However, that statue had nothing on the truly horrifying bust that was unveiled at Madeira’s airport earlier this year— a creation so horrifying that it’s creator implied he regretted bringing the monstrosity into the world in the first place.
It took a couple of attempts, but it appears that someone has finally figured out how to capture Ronaldo’s likeness without any features that will scar your brain. The statue was designed by Jose Antonio Navarro Arteaga, who posted a few images on Facebook after it was unveiled at the Real Madrid Museum.
I’m just glad someone finally designed a statue that won’t stare deep into your soul.