Denard Robinson Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed And By That I Mean In The Driver’s Seat Of His Sinking Car

Denard Robinson

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In the spirit of stones and glass houses, I’ll admit that I’ve had more than a few instances where I’m not sure where I was/how I got there after a night of drinking. I’m really not sure which is worse. Sometimes, I’ll wake up in my room but not know where it is immediately because I’m in an irregular position (ie – under my bed, in my closet, under my desk). Other times I’ll wake up in a friend’s place and not immediately put two and two together and then begin freaking the fuck out because I can’t find my pants and I’m really not sure what’s going on or why I’m in a strange place with no pants on. However, I can say that I have yet to wake up in a car, especially one that is slowly submerging itself in a lake.

Via FCN:

“Jacksonville Jaguars running back Denard Robinson was behind the wheel of a vehicle that ended up in a retention pond near the intersection of Beach Boulevard and Southside. Police reports say Robinson and his passenger were passed out or asleep when officers arrived just after 4 a.m. Sunday. The front side of the black Chevy Impala was submerged in the water. Police officers knocked on the door to wake them up, according to the report.

‘The driver (Denard Robinson) opened his eyes and then went back to sleep. I continued to knock on the window until the passenger Marissa Staples woke up and rolled the window down and said “what’s up”. I explained that their vehicle was in a pond and that they needed to exit the vehicle. The passenger attempted to roll the window back up. I was able to reach in the vehicle and unlock the door so I could help the occupants exit the vehicle. The passenger refused to exit the vehicle and had to be pulled out of the car. The driver was passed out during this whole process. I was able to wake the driver but had to turn the vehicle off and remove his seatbelt. The driver thought he was on a road and did not want to exit the vehicle. I had to tell the driver multiple times his car was in a pond and was sinking so he needed to hurry up and get out. The driver tried about three times to open the driver’s door which was the side that was under water. I had to keep reminding the driver to climb out of the passenger side because his door was in the water.’

Robinson and the passenger were not hurt and will not be charged with a crime, police say.”

“What’s up?” Are you kidding me? How about what’s not up, aka the slowly sinking front of your car? How does one even find themselves in this situation? Did they park in the lake without even realizing the wheels of their car were resting on the surface of a slow-moving body of water? Or were they just really fucked up and trying to see if their car could act as a submarine if the windows were all up but then fell asleep when it started taking too long? I’m kind of hoping for the second one, but I have a strange feeling it was actually the first one. Though I’m not sure since, when the officer told her that the car was sinking, she rolled the window back up. Kind of gives me a “Oh fuck, this actually might work” vibe. That or they were just decently fucked up and didn’t want to get in trouble. See what I’ve been hinting at here? I’m pretty sure they were just both fucked up.

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