This Goddess In A Wedding Dress Housing A Burger At An NHL Game Needs To Get Divorced And Marry Me

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She married the wrong man. He seems like a nice enough dude but can he treat her like I can? Can he show her the all-encompassing power of true love? Can he deliver extremely average sexual intercourse? Can he quote every single line in the 1994 smash hit comedy Little Giants? Does he drink six days a week and pass out on the living room coffee table? These are all questions she failed to ask herself before tying the knot with this stiff. Now she’ll live a life full of ‘what-ifs.’ A true tragedy.

[h/t Uproxx]

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