Excerpts From Gronk’s New Book Show Just How Awesome It Would Be To Party With Him

Rob Gronkowski has a new book coming out called It’s Good to be Gronk and if you weren’t planning on buying it before today, these new excerpts culled by the Boston Herald will surely send you running to the bookstore, err, Internet.

“I’m no Boy Scout, I’m a Gronk,” 87 writes. “Nobody, and I mean nobody parties like my crew, Party Rockers. … We don’t do drugs, that’s for people who don’t know how to party straight. We don’t hurt people or look for any trouble. All we do is get wild, dance like madmen and have a very fun time.”

Of course there are stories of Gronk’s legendary parties at the University of Arizona which until now we could only imagine what went on there. Turns out, it was better than we even thought. At Arizona Gronk’s dad bought a house for Rob and his two brothers Chris and Gord to live in, which they proceeded to pretty much ruin.

“At our house, the front door and the back door were perfectly aligned to form a straight line right through the living room, kitchen and hallway.”

“We would invite all the hot athletic and sorority girls over then take dishwashing liquid and squirt it all over the floor to get it slippery. We would then squirt it all over ourselves to get lubed up then throw water all over the place. The name of the game was to make it from door to door sliding on your chest.”

“Somebody was always naked and the girls loved it when our underwear slid off,” he writes.

“When my mom visited, she saw all the bras in the trees and was (expletive).”

Dammit, we HAVE TO get a ticket to his party cruise now.

The Herald has even more fantastic stuff, but I think we know enough now that we need to put in our order for “It’s Good to be Gronk” when comes out next Tuesday, July 14th.