The Guy Who Took A $700,000 Multi-Bet Gamble On The Patriots Is Having A Worse Day Than You

Jim Davis/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

Far be it for me to tell others how to live their lives, but if your quarterback cannot attempt a pass without spiking the ball into the dirt, you probably shouldn’t bet them to win straight up over a team that is better than yours in all phases of the game.

Again, I’m no Gary V, but get your shit together, wake up at 4 am, and start a bustling e-commerce business.

As a Patriots fan myself, I wouldn’t bet on this team using Aaron Hernandez’s estate money. I’d rather invest in a string of Blockbuster Videos outside Chernobyl.

But I am only one man, and in this world there are smarter men and much dumber men. Today we concern ourselves over the latter.

Introducing: The dunce who dropped $500,000 on the Patriots +7 and an added $2000 on the Patriots moneyline.

Bold move, Cotton. How’d that work out for him?

  • Bills 38-9
  • Bill Belichick broke the world’s last remaining cord phone
  • The Patriots have not one above average receiver that Cam Can target before throwing it at his feet
  • New England is under new management and Stefon Diggs is now their owner
  • Cam Newton had fewer yards than downtown Manhattan
  • Edelman has ghosted us

Come to think of it, this random dude losing his life savings is the least disastrous thing to come out of Monday night.


[h/t WEEI]