Jay Cutler Still Hunting A Serial Chicken Killer, Has Progressed To Using Cameras And Traps

Jay Cutler Is Still On The Hunt For A Serial Chicken Killer

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In case you missed it, former NFL quarterback Jay Cutler has been on a mission of late trying to catch a serial chicken killer that has been terrorizing his birds and getting away scot-free.

The last time we checked in with the reality TV legend, Cutler was using night vision goggles and staking out his chicken coop from his kids’ tree house.

Keep in mind, this is all going on while he and his estranged wife Kristin Cavallari are trying to sort out their divorce. Does one thing have to do with the other? It wouldn’t be at all surprising.

After ruling out the housecat Thelma, and apologizing for accusing her, Cutler has been hypervigilant in protecting his chicken Old Blue, who Jay refers to as the “coolest rooster in the game by far.”

Things have now progressed to the point where the situation has its own hashtag #SaveJaysChickens.

“Really shocked cheetah isn’t higher on the leaderboard,” wrote Smokin’ Jay.

Three days ago, Cutty revealed that their is a new suspect in the case: Sasquatch AKA Bigfoot.

Another long time NFL quarterback, Josh McCown, is also now getting involved, commenting on the post below, “Highly highly evolved Sasquatch we’re dealing with.”

“This can’t be real. Chicken is gone and I don’t have a picture. I have to regroup. This is insanity,” Jay captioned the photos, leading to the next photo where Jay writes, “Time to get serious….”

“Need lasers bro… make him go mission impossible for that chicken next time,” added McCown.

“5 cameras. 4 didn’t work after I spent an hour putting in batteries and sd cards. Tested them 3 times. So Cuddeback cameras you are fired. You off the mission. We got 1 photo. 1. Going to regroup for the 2nd time in the last 24 hrs. I need a coffee. Stay tuned.”

“New development. Front yard. The hits just keep coming.”

“Step 1. Some live trapping tonight. And yes the chickens have a secure chicken coop. It’s bigger than my dorm room in college. They do ok besides fighting to stay alive the past week. Working on that currently.”

“#Leadership,” commented McCown.

“Will this work. It’s 12:44am and nothing yet. Clearly never trapped anything in my life so I’m not confident.”

“We have a worthy adversary. Trap was knocked over and dragged. Nothing in it clearly. I will be spending the day learning how to trap I guess. This can’t continue. It just can’t.”

“Little ride to clear my head and get ready for tonight. We are behind in this battle but we haven’t lost the war. Everyone loves a comeback. Tonight’s the night,” Jay wrote on Monday.

“@christensenarms sent some backup. Too bad I’m battling a ghost in the dark. Got some trapping tips today. My odds have at least doubled. I had a solid 4% chance of success last night.”

“I would go in that trap. Can’t lose tonight.”

“Now this thing looks inviting. Well done my friend. The leaves sprinkled on the door are such a difference maker. Tonight’s the night,” commented McCown.

“I’m being taunted, mocked and outwitted by a small animal. Avoided the trap and all the other cameras. Only pic from last night. Only one option left.”

And that’s where we currently stand in the hunt for the elusive chicken serial killer.

Further updates will be posted as warranted.

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Before settling down at BroBible, Douglas Charles, a graduate of the University of Iowa (Go Hawks), owned and operated a wide assortment of websites. He is also one of the few White Sox fans out there and thinks Michael Jordan is, hands down, the GOAT.