LSU Gave Its Tiger Mascot A Birthday Cake Made Entirely Of MEAT, Resulting In A Long Tiger Snooze
What I got for my birthday this year: a few Facebook wall posts and a $25 savings bond from my grandparents. GOD DAMNIT GRAMMA thanks for a couple Chipotle burritos FIFTEEN YEARS FROM NOW.
What LSU’s mascot Mike the Tiger got for his 10th birthday: a giant cake made solely of Grade A top quality ground beef.
Pretty good score for a tiger who hasn’t attended one single LSU game. Isn’t that a mascots like only responsibility.
For the Win profiled Mike the Tiger last year and got some insight into his apathy from Dr. David Baker, Director of the Division of Laboratory Animals at LSU who serves as his primary veterinarian:
“He doesn’t care, he’s an animal. He doesn’t read his Facebook page, and this might come as a surprise to some people. Or, ‘Oh man I’ve gotta go to the Alabama game.’ He doesn’t know these things. He’s just a tiger.”
One thing me and Mike have in common: we squeak by without really doing our jobs. Daps, brotha. Happy birthday.
Here’s a little ballad while you drift off to sleep, Mikey.
Bros. I need to air this out. I just saw Rebecca Martinson eat a ball of her own ear wax. She looked over her shoulder first to see if anyone was looking. I was. It was one of the most repulsive things I’ve ever seen a human being do, nevermind a chick. I know this may seem completely unrelated to Mike the Tiger but both of them are goddamn animals, so there’s that.
[h/t For the Win]