Manchester United’s Marouane Fellaini Is Suing New Balance For The Pettiest Reason

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I have a habit of hitting a shitty shot in golf and faux-examining my club like the manufacturer is to blame.
“Don’t blame the arrow, blame the Indian,” my dad always says, which I think is cultural appropriation but I’m not sure anymore.

Well, Manchester United midfielder Marouane Fellaini is taking a page out of my book, but the payoff for him is a lot more substantial. The 29-year-old is suing New Balance for £2.1million ($2.4 million), claiming their cleats have done ‘considerable damage’ to his feet.

Fellaini signed a four-year deal with New Balance back in 2012 to the tune of nearly $700,00 a year, but is walking away from the deal to sign with Nike, Daily Mail reports. He claims that his cleats needed to be ‘steamed and stretched’ before worn and his feet have suffered ‘considerable damage’ despite repeatedly communicating his frustration to New Balance. Fellaini’s legal team claim they are also suing for ‘loss of employment, inconvenience and impact on performance.’

In a rebuke statement released by New Balance, the sportswear manufacturer claims that Fellaini once described the cleats as ‘perfect’ and ordered 12 more pairs.

If a company is handing you $700,000 a year to do nothing but wear free shit, I don’t care if those cleats give you gout, you stay out of the damn courts. What a goddamn baby.

[h/t Daily Mail]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.