It Sure Sounds Like Bears Coach Matt Nagy Dropped A Hilarious NSFW Line While Singing The 7th Inning Stretch At Cubs Game

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Chicago Bears head coach Matt Nagy either doesn’t know the words to “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” or he requested that the thousands of fans in attendance for the Cubs-Reds game yesterday purchase him some penis.

Believe what you will, but unless further evidence is brought forward, I choose to believe with every part of my being that Mr. Nagy has solicited prostitution, punishable by a three game suspension under Rule 6, Section 9, Article 69 of the NFL rulebook.

You’d think that a guy who is being paid millions by the Bears would be able to purchase his own boners instead of crowdfunding the cash, but evidently not..

Take a look at some of the faces in the crowd immediately after Nagy clearly said “penis.” The girl all the way on the right looks like she just got word that she needs to put her dog down.

Don’t lose sleep over it, Matty. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.