The Ass-Backwards NFL Suspends Buffalo Bills’ Seantrel Henderson For 10 Games For Using Weed To Treat Crohn’s Disease

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In their latest display of utter disconnectedness to reality, the looney tune executives in the National Football League have suspended Buffalo Bills offensive tackle Seantrel Henderson for 10 games (the end of this season and a large chunk of next) for his latest violation of the substance-abuse policy. The substance: marijuana. The reason for use: to combat a relenting gastrointestinal disease that some medical professionals believe weed is the most effective remedy. Loss of income: an estimated $500,000.

Henderson found out in the middle of last season that he had Crohn’s disease, a chronic inflammatory condition of the gastrointestinal tract with symptoms consisting of abdominal cramps and pain, persistent diarrhea, rectal bleeding, and the urgent need to move the bowels. Shit sucks. Literally. The 24-year-old University of Miami grad used marijuana to fight the symptoms of Crohn’s Disease. And he’s not alone.

Saturday Night Live‘s Pete Davidson, who was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease when he was a teenager, has praised weed as at the only makeshift remedy for the chronic disease.

“I wouldn’t be able to do SNL if I didn’t smoke weed. I wouldn’t be able to do anything, really. Me performing not high has gone awful. It’s awful for me, because I don’t feel well.”

According to Pro Football Talk, Henderson is reportedly considering litigation to challenge the NFL’s decision, but will likely not be able to leverage the federal Americans with Disabilities Act, considering under federal law, marijuana use remains illegal for all purposes. It’s up to the NFL to shore up its ass-backwards, antiquated, stubborn policies to put a stop to these non-criminal, non-performance-enhancing “crimes.” I won’t hold my breath.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.