First off, how is it that O.J. Simpson, who owes somewhere in the neighborhood of $60 MILLION in a wrongful death settlement, is still a member of a nice country club in Las Vegas while I can’t afford to hit my local links more than a few times a year?
The reason I ask that question is because that’s all this motherfucker does: golf.
Oh, and give out rock solid advice on Twitter about how to deal with the current global pandemic because he’s familiar with… how to keep older people healthy?
Both of which “The Juice” did recently when he posted a Twitter video (“Hello Twitter world, it’s George Truly.”) stating that in this time of crisis, when everyone is self-isolating in order to protect one another from getting infected and, well, dying or killing another human being, Simpson wants America to keep its golf courses open because “a lot of people need them,” especially older people.
You know, the same older people who are more likely to die if they are infected.
Then again, when did O.J. Simpson ever have to worry about killing anyone? Oh… right.
As has now become standard operating procedure with Simpson, “some replies were hidden by the Tweet author” because “The Juice” believes that will somehow stop people from seeing them.
Much like his ice cold take on golf courses shutting down, he would be wrong. I’m just sayin…
Hide this reply if you killed your wife 😂😂
— 🥶 Aaron Icy is a simp for his girlfriend 🥶 (@axwieldr) March 18, 2020
Ron and Nicole didn’t get to finish their round.
— Willie Fistergash (@Ballbustersport) March 18, 2020
OJ, lets say someone has a surgical mask on, Lets say somebody is pissed because they watched their wife giving a guy a beejer. The guy slices his wife's throat open. Would the mask keep them from getting corona?
— darrin daye (@darrin_daye) March 18, 2020
Do you know who else can't play golf? Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman. Not since you killed them.
— Peter Armstrong (@Auktavius1) March 23, 2020
Kinda like when they closed down the freeway back in the 90’s because of some killer in a white bronco 🤷🏻♂️🤔
— Ivez Barrera (@IvezBarrera) March 18, 2020
If you can’t play, you’re going to go crazy. Is that a threat, juice?
— Nick Naylor®™️ (@phxguy88) March 19, 2020
You've already searched all of the golf courses looking for the "real killer" though.
— Aaron Henager (@AaronHenager1) March 19, 2020
Only in America can a murderer still owe his victims millions of dollars and be on the golf course complaining about them closing.
— Conservative Tech (@Bishlord5000) March 18, 2020
That’s what I’m saying!
Still searching for Nicole's killer?
— chokekoch (@sdward1) March 18, 2020
He’s still working on it, like he promised.