Phil Mickelson’s Morning Coffee Routine Makes Patrick Bateman In ‘American Psycho’ Look Normal

Getty Image / Brian Rothmuller / Icon Sportswire

Everyone has their own morning coffee routine. They run the gamut from completely normal to borderline psychotic. Mine’s pretty simple these days. I live on Nespresso and make a ‘Red Eye’ every morning after walking my dog where I brew a normal cup of coffee and then drop a single or double shot of espresso in that. When I can get it, I drink the Starbucks Nitro. Some people insist you need slow-drip coffee to extract every minuscule bit of flavor and others are perfectly content scooping a spoonful of instant coffee into hot water and going about their business.

Then there are people like Phil Mickelson who take things to a level that is borderline scary. Watching this clip below I had images of Christian Bale as Patrick Batemen in American Psycho running through my head. This is not normal. We cannot normalize this coffee behavior from Mickelson.

I’ve spoken to countless golf fans over the years who either hate or love Phil Mickelson and I’ve never understood why he’s so polarizing because he comes off as one of the most likable guys on the PGA Tour to me. With that said, I might have to reassess everything I know and think about Lefty after seeing him whip up his morning coffee.

Phil tweeted out this video yesterday before his first round of the 2020 PGA Championship at TPC Harding Park in San Francisco. I’ve watched this at least a handful of times since. Every time I think I’m beginning to process this alarming behavior I have to pause, take some deep breaths, and remind myself this is psychotic.

Keep in mind this is from For Wellness Coffe, Phil Mickelson’s very own coffee company. This isn’t a joke. He’s this damn serious about coffee if you can even call this ‘coffee’. Here’s the clip via Twitter and Instagram so you can choose your preferred medium to watch:

and

https://www.instagram.com/p/CDjobUGlRgQ/

I prefer my coffee so black and dark that I get annoyed when there aren’t coffee grounds stuck in my teeth. That’s how thick and dark I want my coffee. What Phil’s drinking there is something that might as well have been created by someone in a lab coat.

On the For Wellness Coffee website, there’s a ‘coming soon – jump on the list’ option for anyone who wants to sign up to receive notifications and news about this coffee created by Phil Mickelson and performance coach Dave Phillips. The tagline reads ‘Coffee for Wellness™ is a brand born from 26 years of experience and passion’ as if they’re somehow the only people who have been drinking coffee for the past 26 years.