We Wanted To Know Who Is, Pound-For-Pound, The Longest Driver On The PGA Tour — Here’s What We Found

We know that Dustin Johnson, Gary Woodland, Bubba Watson, Brooks Koepka, Jason Day, J.B. Holmes, Rory McIroy, and so many others on the PGA Tour can BOMB IT. With the exception of McIlroy, the guys that I just listed are all over 180 lbs and most of them are also over 6ft tall.

It’s hard for smaller guys to compete with the natural gift of SIZE, but a few “smaller” guys on the PGA Tour, like McIlroy (160 lbs) and Justin Thomas (145 lbs) are able to go toe-to-toe with some of the Tour’s BEEFCAKES. (I don’t know why I chose Beefcake there. I regret it. Forgive me.) So I asked our friends at Graphiq to breakdown the longest players on the PGA Tour by who is getting the most of the body they have. When you look at the stats this way, it’s not the Johnson’s, Watson’s and Koepka’s of the world who rise to the top. It’s the guys like Justin Thomas who, by some fucking unimaginable reason, can average only 14 less yards per drive off the tee than Dustin Johnson, although he’s giving up 6-inches and 45 lbs to him.

First up, we have Top 20 longest drivers sorted by yards/pound:


Next, we have a handsome scatterplot of players that charts their weight against their average driving distance:


Finally, the list without photos, in case you abhor the site of undersized human beings:


Congrats, Justin. I have no idea what this honor means for you (nothing, likely), but I’m sure your friends at Titleist will figure out how to do something marketing-related with this information in order to turn a profit. I expect a 10% kickback for my efforts.