FIFA President Sepp Blatter, who resigned with great fanfare on June 2, is now saying that he didn’t resign.
The man is freaking unbelievable.
According to a Swiss newspaper, Blatter claims when we all saw him resign, he wasn’t really resigning.
Blatter told a party at a Fifa museum: “I did not resign. I put myself and my office in the hands of the Fifa congress.”
Blatter is thought to be considering standing for re-election as president.
Yes. Yes. A million times yes.
The craziest thing about this is that if he does run, he’ll undoubtedly win. That’s how dysfunctional soccer’s governing body is at operating.
Put nothing past them.
What this revelation means for John Oliver and Bud Light Lime remains to be seen. It’s like that viral comedy stunt meant nothing.
To be fair, Blatter never used the exact word “resign.”
Instead he said this:
“While I have a mandate from the membership of Fifa, I do not feel that I have a mandate from the entire world of football.
“Therefore, I have decided to lay down my mandate at an extraordinary elective congress. I will continue to exercise my functions as Fifa president until that election.”
I’m not sure how that could mean anything other than “I resign” but Blatter’s matter-of-factness is messing with my head. Perhaps up really is down. Perhaps black is white. Night is day. Happy is sad. Perhaps everything I think I know is a lie and only he has his eyes open to the realities of this world.