St. Louis Newspaper Prematurely Congratulates The Blues On Stanley Cup Victory So I Just Bet My First Born On The Bruins In 7

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I’m no betting man, but I just drained my life savings and leveraged the mortgage on my house in favor of the Boston Bruins winning the Stanley Cup Finals. Is it because they’re on home ice for Game 7? No. Is it because Tuukka Rask has been standing on his head all playoffs? Nah. Is it because a road team winning Game 6 to force a Game 7 has ended up winning the series four out of five times? I did not know that until I Googled it.

The reason is this:

Mind you, the Blues have never been to a Stanley Cup Final before, so this is unchartered territory for the people of St. Louis.

But, hours before the Blues squandered a chance to win the Cup on home ice in Game 6, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch all but guaranteed its team would lose by prematurely celebrating a series that is far from over.

Sunday’s e-edition featured a letter from majority owner Tom Stillman congratulating his team on a Stanley Cup victory.

“Winning the Stanley Cup was a dream come true for so many of you. All of us will remember where we were, what we did and how we felt when the Blues brought the Cup home. Each of us will have a library of memories to pass down for generations.”

The Post realized it made an oopsie and tried to salvage some mercy from the jinx gods.

Say ‘sneak peak’ again, and I’ll strangle you, St. Louis Post.

You don’t need to be a jinx guy to know that there is no way in hell the Blues are winning Game 7 and the St. Louis Post-Dispatch preemptively shooting its load makes for a reasonable scapegoat.

 

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.