Here’s Some Upsetting News About The Undertaker’s Return To The WWE

The Undertaker will be at Wrestlemania 31. He’s on the official poster (more on that later) and has been training for the match. That’s all old, but good, news.

The bad news? He probably won’t be on TV any time before the March 29th PPV.

As reported recently, WWE is planning to keep The Undertaker off of television until WrestleMania 31, a move done by design to help keep his mystique leading into his match with Bray Wyatt.

It should be noted, however, that while Undertaker is not currently scheduled for any television tapings leading up to WrestleMania, he will respond to Wyatt’s challenge in some form or fashion, possibly as soon as this coming Monday’s edition of WWE RAW.

I get it. I’m not saying I like it, but, I get it. I didn’t want The Undertaker to wrestle, I was just hoping for The Undertaker to make a grand entrance, do the whole dog and pony show, and give me a reason to tune into Raw.

I was also hoping he’d make the lights go out. Especially during any segment involving The Ascension.

More WWE News For February 24, 2015

Here’s (Allegedly) The Reason Brock Lesnar Took His Ball (Metaphorically) And Went Home (Literally) Early From Raw On Monday

Brock Lesnar and Vince McMahon got into it before Raw on Monday. The internet speculated that it had something to do with Roman Reigns, the wellness policy and Vince not letting Brock hunt the NXT wrestlers for sport. It was none of the above, although, Brock Lesnar erecting a tree stand and shooting Finn Balor in the ass with a tranquilizer dart is happening in a thought bubble above my head right now.

Lesnar is making some demands in his new WWE contract and they involve the UFC. Brock wants to have his cake and punch it too. The Beast Incarnate wants to work for the WWE and UFC simultaneously. Yeah, good luck with that Brock. I’m sure Vince would be totally cool with one of his marquee guys occasionally getting into a ring for a different company and possibly getting his face smashed, win or lose, and then showing up the next night for Smackdown. “Here’s our champion, Brock Lesnar, stalking his prey in the ring. Ignore the arm casts, folks. And $9.99!” — Michael Cole.

Samoa Joe To The WWE? In Other News, I’m Out Of Samoa Cookies

It took a longer time to appreciate samoa Girl Scout’s cookies than it did to appreciate Samoa Joe. I’m a fan of both equally now. Neither will replace Thin Mints. Greatest cookie ever — zero debate.

Samoa Joe said tofa soifua to TNA and is officially a free agent. The WWE is interested and Joe could sign any…nevermind, he’s going to ROH.

Vince McMahon Once Felt About John Cena How Some Fans Feel About Him Today

Funny story involving Vince and the man formerly known as The Prototype. posted an article about Superstars meeting Vince McMahon for the first time. John Cena told the story of meeting Vince right before his televised debut. Cena claims Vince “had a disgusted look on his face” and told officials to cut Cena’s hair. Cena had bleach-blonde hair that was shaved on the sides. Like this. 

“That was the first time I met Vince McMahon and he was disgusted to look at me,” Cena said. “They shipped me out and I immediately got a haircut, which was not dyed blond, but equally as horrible.”

“Vince, this is John Cena, he’ll be your champion for the next ten years.”

Imagine Vince’s face when he saw Cena’s ring gear.

The Official Poster For Wrestlemania Is Very Official And Involves Daniel Bryan

Hey guys! Over here! Look this way! Roman, give me mad. Madder! Pretend the hot dog guy won’t bring you a couple dogs up there in the rafters. PERFECT!

So the order of the guys in the poster goes Part Time, Needs More Time, Too Much Time, Sometimes, One Time, Not Enough Time and Last Time. Got it.

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