Video Of Blue Jays’ Reese McGuire’s Arrest For Whacking It In A Strip Mall Parking Lot Released

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Blue Jays catcher Reese McGuire suffered through a humiliating arrest on February 7th as authorities bagged him bopping his bologna inside his white Mercedes SUV outside of a strip mall in Dunedin, Florida.

The incident took place in the Dollar Tree parking lot within close proximity to the team’s spring training facility.

The 25-year-old former first-round draft pick pleaded no contest and was fined $450 after initially being charged with exposure of sexual organs, a first-degree misdemeanor which is punishable by up to one year in jail and carries fines up to $1,000, the New York Post reports.

Video obtained by TMZ depicts what went down that day, with a repeatedly apologetic Reese telling police he checked to make sure “no one was looking,” but “realized what an idiot, what a dumb place to be” when officers approached his vehicle after a bystander phoned in.

“If you’re down at an apartment next to the stadium, why would you come to a parking lot just to masturbate,” a police officer is heard asking McGuire in the video.

McGuire responded, “I don’t know… I just decided to park.

“I realized that I made a mistake, having my pants down, doing what I was doing,” he added. “I really am apologetic. And I know I shouldn’t have been doing this.”

Hopefully this won’t be too big of a stain on McGuire’s legacy and the Twitter barbs will eventually fade away. But that day is not today.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.