This is finding out Santa isn’t real. This is realizing that hot girl was waving to the dude behind you. This is checking your account statement after a blurry night of drinking. This is finding out that your ex is fucking a dude named Chad. This is hearing that Chad has a HOG. This is waking up on the morning of your big date and seeing a whitehead that isn’t ready to be popped. This is jerking off right before you get the “U up?” text. This is missing a chip shot wide left to advance your team and give your city meaning. This is agony.
No doubt in my mind this dude is standing in this exact position, frozen stiff, refusing to acknowledge the reality of it all. There is no longer any light behind those eyes.
The only thing worse than witnessing the biggest blunder in your franchise’s history is witnessing the biggest blunder in your franchise’s history and having to tell the celebrating dude next to you he’s a fucking idiot.
“Don’t make me say it.”
When you show up late to the party and the kegs empty and all the chicks left. Wide left.
Keep your head up, bro. Stadium traffic should help ease the hurt…
P.S. You have work tomorrow morning.